


Foolish decisions - I

by viictoriasong



Series: Foolish decisions [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: AU, F/M, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-24
Updated: 2016-03-24
Packaged: 2018-05-28 21:39:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6346414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/viictoriasong/pseuds/viictoriasong
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rey knows that going to him is probably a stupid move. After all, Kylo is a prisoner of the Resistance. Leia would never deem it wise. Yet, a child should know their parents and her daugther deserves no less.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Foolish decisions - I

**Author's Note:**

> I had given up on fanfiction writing, but had to rise from the dead to get this little thing out. Imagine: Rey's stay at the First Order base lasts a few months, not days. During this time her relationship with Kylo turns physical and she conceives a child. Before this is known to either of them, however, Rey succesfully escapes/is saved. Soon after, Ren turns himself in to the Resistance, effectively leaving the First Order. He is immediately imprisoned as the Resistance leaders debate his faith. The following scene takes place some months later, after Rey has had her baby.

Rey had never been anything short of sensible. After all, when one finds they are all alone on a planet like Jakku, how could she _not_ have learned to save herself time and time again? 

Yet, tonight she finds herself making a less coherent decision – one of many risky ones she’s made since leaving her home planet behind almost a year ago. 

Perhaps she should know better. After all, Kylo is a prisoner here. A criminal of war, soon to stand trial for murdering his own father and a whole list of other people Rey doesn’t dare to think of.  Leia, the one person she respects most of all, would _never_ deem this wise. 

But as Rey looks down at the baby curled up safely in her arms – _all mine_ , she thinks with a warm smile – she knows this might be a risk worth taking. A child deserves to know both of its parents, after all. 

And something inside Kylo has softened considerably too. When they had first met, he had been the man with never ending sadness and anxiety pumping through his veins. But now, seven months after he’d given himself up to the Resistance, a calm had come over him. Rey imagines that with Snoke no longer luring in the back of his mind at all times, his thoughts come at a much more pleasant pace. 

The handful of times she’d gotten clearance to visit him, he’d been calmer than she’d ever thought possible. Still an emotional wreck on the inside, granted, but no longer an animal hunted. 

Her daughter stirs in her sleep, and Rey presses a feather light kiss to her head. “We’re nearly there. No need to wake up.” 

It’s nearly 3am. Most people on base are asleep, save for the night crew and those overseeing operations in the control room. And her, naturally – babies need to be fed a lot and _often_ , as it so happens. 

The small corridor with prisons isn’t exactly crowded either, with a single guard standing sleepy at the main entrance. Rey softly moves him to open Kylo’s cell, wake him, and leave them be. 

No questions asked (does this count as abusing the Force? _It’s an exceptional situation_ , she assures herself), the guard lets her through and Rey finds herself within Kylo’s bare prison. 

He is seated on the edge of his bed, not a trace of sleep in his eyes. He spend many nights awake, she knows, most likely pondering over the remains of his life. His expression is one of surprise when meeting her gaze, yet soon darkens when noticing the bundle in her arms. 

He swallows. “Leia will not like this.” 

 _Of course, that would be the first thing he’d say_. 

“Your mother and I get along great. We always talk things out.” Rey says as her eyes search the room, looking for something to sit on. 

Kylo laughs, a bitter sound escaping his lips. “They’ve permanently cleared out the room. I kept destroying furniture.” 

Rey sighs. She’d hoped to maybe keep some distance. Whatever Force connection it is that still gets her heart racing to touch and _kiss_ him, she knows that’s best not to happen right now. 

“Make some room for us then!” 

Kylo obliges, moving stiffly to the other end of his bed. She sits down comfortably, but he keeps his eyes trained on the entrance door. 

They sit in silence for a few moments. Rey had thought of all the things she wanted to say, all the things she _should_ say, but now comes up totally empty. A practical approach then. 

“Would you like to hold her?” 

His digs his fingers into the bedsheet, the internal battle he fights clear on his face. His answer doesn’t come easy, but eventually he gives in. _To the better parts of himself_ , Rey reckons. “Y-yes.” 

Softly, careful not to rouse the sleeping baby, Rey places her daughter into her father’s arms. 

Rey holds her breath. Ever since her daughter had been born she’d thought of this moment, yet she had not been able to shake a feeling of dread and anxiety. 

Neither of them had planned for this baby to be conceived, let alone be born. For a long time, Rey had not wished to think what Kylo’s attitude towards their child would be. She would care and protect it with her _life_ , that much Rey had been sure of early on. But what if he’d coldly rejected them? 

Rey had never made herself any romantic illusions about Kylo’s character, but that particular vision had still stirred something unpleasant inside her. 

None of that now. As their daughter settles in closer to her father’s chest, the look on his face is unlike anything she’d ever seen with him. Always sadness yes – but also warmth and _like_. With the fingers of his left hand, he traces the outlines of the child’s face. 

“She- she’s a week old now, right?” 

Rey nods. The birth had been quick, but had naturally left her with a soreness that had made her bones feels heavy and weak at the same time. Leia had been the one to tell her son of his fatherhood. 

“You have given her a name, I suppose?” 

Rey laughs nervously. “No! I – have a few names ready, but I keep coming back on my decision. Don’t want to mess it up and give her a ridiculous name.” 

He doesn’t respond. His eyes are now trained on the baby, making soft noises in her sleep. 

Rey leans back. _So far so good_ , she comforts herself. They sit like that for a while before she makes another attempt at conversation. 

“How are your sessions with Luke?” 

The Jedi master had taken it upon himself to rehabilitate his nephew soon after Kylo had arrived at the Resistance headquarters. Progress is slow, Luke tells her, but seems fruitful nonetheless. 

“I have become unfamiliar with his methods of training. I – I’m not very good at it.” He meets her eyes for the first time since Rey handed him their child. So, she smiles encouragingly. 

“Keep working on it. Vigilance is key, he always tells me.” 

“I often think-” Kylo starts as he absentmindedly runs a thumb over his daughter’s tiny fist, “that I – it’s all confusing. And I feel empty. Without purpose. Without skill. Snoke always said I was never any good without-” 

He doesn’t finish. Finn had told Rey about this, how the First Order had a way of making their troops completely dependent on them – physically _and_ mentally. She can only imagine the amount of abuse Kylo has suffered all those years ‘training’ under his former leader. 

“Well, you’re here now. With _us_ , people who want to help you.” Rey’s not sure how true that is – Kylo’s actions have not earned him much sympathy amongst Resistance fighters – but there’s Leia. And Luke. And her too, she guesses. 

Something breaks in Kylo then, again. “A child needs their parents. A child should be cared for and I can’t do any of that. Perhaps it’s better if she doesn’t know that I….” He trails off, placing his daughter back into Rey’s hands with a sudden urgency. The baby cries out softly at the sudden movement. 

To think that this man, someone she once considered a total monster, now has the ability to move something deep inside her with his infinite tragedies is astonishing. 

“I would never let you hurt her in any way. I'll keep her safe.” To someone else, the words might have been offensive. But Rey speaks them as a way of comfort, for isn’t that what Kylo seeks at the end of the day? 

“And you are the better person for it.” He responds quietly.  He then stand, moving towards a desk at the other end of the room to drink from a cup of water. 

“Thank you. For granting me this moment. I will not forget it.” Kylo speaks, his back still turned to her. 

Rey looks down at her daughter. _I am a damn fool_ , she mentally throws at herself. He’ll probably be locked in this prison for many more years to come, yet she could never see herself breaking up father and child now. Once Kylo gets better, they’ll make it work somehow and care for this life together. 

Be the kind of parents the both of them never had… 

She speaks her mind. “We’ll be back. I don’t know when, but we will be.” 

His shoulders tense, but he still does not show his face. 

Rey hesitates to go. It’s time to leave him be she knows, but the thought of ending this meeting of a _family_ makes her resist every sort of movement. 

“Leia told me your grandmother’s name was Padmé. I think it’s a very pretty name. Would you – be okay with that being our daughters’’ name too? ” 

He does turn then, a barely there glance over his shoulder. Emotions as clear as day clouding his eyes. “It would be a good choice.” 

Rey smiles then, wide and unabiding. “Good. Yes, good. I’m glad we agree.” 

With a wave of goodbye, Rey leaves Kylo’s cell. Sensibility might be leaving her personality, but it’s being replaced with nothing short of optimism.


End file.
